Adjusting the Straps; An Ostara Musing

So today is Ostara, Or here abouts. I've been doing lots of mental adjustments and lots of deep thinking in my bid to let go of fear. At this point I am in process of starting up my Sewing Business, really making a go of it. Honestly some of these fears I've had to let go are huge and deep seated in my psyche.Lots of it is fear of what will happen if I am not as I "should" be and realizing that the list of shoulds comes from a very warped perspective that is not in line with who I am. My marriage is not going to fall apart just because I dedicate myself to doing something I love doing. It is a balance and sometimes I will screw up but mostly I expect to get it about right. I have a partner who will speak up if I'm doing it wrong rather than become sullen and sulky. What a blessing a communicative partner is! We will both have to work this balance as he has his own mission in life.

There is another thing, I fear that what I want is a waste of time because it's not important enough. It is not. Helping people feel comfortable in their skin IS important. How many people are uncomfortable in their own skin. I know I have been and it's a heck of a journey to get back from there. Giving people a way to do that is a great goodness. Also doing something I want to do that is not evil or selfish as I have been taught.  Doing something I want to do means being a happier more positive person in my personal life which starts that whole feedback loop of happy/positive/successful with all of my family.

I am afraid of failure. Well who isn't. However, when I had a business before I made a profit by year 3. Not a big one but a profit none the less. I Have business acumen. I can do this. The sewing skills? well one reason I don't think of them is that it's like talking to a fish about water. I haz Mad skillz, really. So we just keep swimming and breathing. I have all that I need to do this and I am setting up a reasonable perimeters to take care of my family as best I can while I build this up.

So I guess what I'm getting at is that my 'chute is packed, I'm adjusting the straps for as much comfort as I can have and I'm about to to the Leap of Faith thing. Lent has been good, Ostara is time to begin moving forward. Stand Back! I got this! (with support from my family and the PTB) Thanks Guys!