On the Death of a Sociopath

Okay. I always feel a little pang when someone is glad that yet another socio/psychopath is dead. I understand the feeling, really. Having spent years and years wishing and dreaming of all the horrid, painful, and tortuous ways in which I could conceive of the Sociopath (yes I'll go with the definition of socially created psychopath) in my life dying, I really can understand. However this saying rings so very true for me.

Once someone I loved gave me a box of darkness. 

It took me years to understand that this too was a gift. 

I've been very very close to a sociopath, I've seen him up close and personal as he wrangled with who and what he is. I have to say that I too am glad Mr. Castro is dead,  I too am sad that we did not get to learn more about why he is the way he is. However, unless and until we can stop the levels of abuse that create the Sociopath version of this it will continue to happen and knowing the mechanisms will not stop it happening. However, I always advocate learning and I am willing to bear witness to their stories. Because there is a huge difference between the true Psychopath, one who is born FUBAR and one who is broken over time. The sociopath is not a monster they are humans, deeply injured and broken humans.  Often I believe the damage is so great that they will not be functional in this lifetime. They wrangle with what they are, they do not understand why the things they try to do go so very horribly wrong. Hell due to the marvels of the brain and how it protects itself they may not even know what it is they do to others, they too may be disassociated during their acts of brutality. They also do not understand why those they "love", for it is a natural tendency of humans to bond with others and that is called love, flee from them in fear and horror. They really do not understand.

At this point I'm sure some of you think that I am of the "Aw poor little sociopaths lets just hug them and make them all better." No I am not stupid I am compassionate. I have another saying I keep in mind, "Don't hug the buzz saw." Honestly I would not be against euthanize these folks when we identify them and convict them of their crimes. Keeping them alive really serves no purpose. They will not likely ever get better and become a functional part of society. No amount of suffering on their part will ever fix the damage done to their victims, fixing that is up to the victim. And if they can ever get passed the anger they will realize that their perpetrator suffering really does nothing to help them heal. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth simply leaves the world blind and toothless.  No amount of jail time will pay a debt to society. Really take the money and put it into therapy for the victim instead.  No amount of studying them will prevent other sociopaths from being created by fucked up parents. From what I can tell it seems that these individuals have an emotional weakness such that they and other kids go through the same thing but it breaks them in ways the other kids don't experience. I've talked to my uncle and my father was, "always the sensitive child, and everything happened always effected him more deeply." We can't really fix that by studying those who exist. And in my opinion putting them down is much like putting down a rabid dog.

Sociopaths do suffer, unlike a psychopath,  on some level they know that they are broken and what they do is wrong which is why there is much alcohol and drug use, they are self medicating. I can have a level of empathy for these folks that I think most can't because I've watched it up close and personal. I've been able to survive, fix my own shit as best I can and try to understand what happened.  I've experienced both the amazing levels of abuse toward the rest of the world and watched the deep levels of self loathing, enough sometimes to take their own life. I suspect that is why Mr. Castro is dead. I'm not actually trying to convince anyone else to have compassion for this man. I know it is difficult, believe me it took years of work to be able to step back and see these being for the wretched things they are. Compassion is not saying that the things these beings do is right, Forgiveness only means that one recognizes that this being was so broken that he could not have behaved in another way due to the level of broken that they are. Compassion is putting a wounded animal down without hatred and anger.

I believe in loving and beneficent Deities. I do not believe that their goal is to make us suffer nor is it to punish us. I believe that we are here to learn how to co create a reality of love and compassion. I believe that often we are given challenges to try to create a reality of love and compassion that are truly difficult. Being on the wrong end of one of these beings is one of those challenges. I believe that when they die the only hell that they can experience is that which they themselves create (If you have not seen What Dreams May Come I highly recommend it). If they do not trap themselves in a self imposed hell then there is the possibility of healing and an opportunity to try those lessons again. This is my belief, Your Mileage May Vary. SMIB.